Perhaps the most important realization that an individual can make
in their quest for personal growth is that there is no single formula
that defines the path to personal success. We all have different goals and
priorities, which means that different activities and attitudes will make
us feel good about ourselves. We also have different natural strengths
and weaknesses that are a part of our inherent personality type. How then,
as individuals, can we feel successful in our lives?
Each personality type has a different idea of what it means to be successful.
Self-knowledge is one common goal that will help everyone achieve personal
success. So many people are hung up on somebody else’s idea of what it means
to be successful, and they are unaware of what is truly important to them.
This is completely normal. We all have important role-models and influencers
in our lives who may have basic values that are quite different from our own.
If this is the case, it’s important to recognize that the discrepancy
between what we have been taught is truly important and what we personally
believe to be truly important is due to a difference in perspective.
If we spend our time and effort trying to meet somebody else’s idea of
success, and ignore or belittle any conflicting messages from our own psyche,
then we will find ourselves exhausted and unhappy. Realizing what is truly
important to us is a major step towards achieving personal success.
While improving our self-knowledge and realizing our true goals can be
very liberating, we should not discard the rules of the society in which we
live. We must recognize that other people’s value systems are no less
important than our own. And we must recognize and accept that we live in
a society in which certain personality types and behaviors are more suited
towards particular tasks. This is the second key that will open the door
towards personal growth.
For example, there are
situations in which it is more appropriate and effective to show compassion
and caring (Feeling), rather than impersonal logic (Thinking). Likewise,
there are situations that call for using impersonal logic to make a decision,
in which the more subjective viewpoint of the Feeling function is inappropriate
and ineffective. Persons with a preference for Feeling will have
a natural advantage over Thinkers in situations that require compassion
and awareness of other’s emotions. Conversely, persons with a preference
for Thinking will have a natural advantage over Feelers in situations that
require the ability to make a decision based on impersonal data.
As we learn about our personality type and the types of others,
we are empowered with an understanding of why people react differently in
different situations. When put into the context of Psychological Type, we
can better accept and understand people’s behaviors that are different from
ours. These insights are extremely useful and powerful to us as
individuals. However, if we are concerned with growing as individuals,
we must take care not to use personality type as an excuse for our
inappropriate behavior. While it’s powerful and useful to notice that
another person’s inappropriate behavior may be due to their personality
type, we cannot use the same reasoning on ourselves. We should recognize
that our personality type has weaknesses, but we must use that knowledge to
conquer those weaknesses rather than to excuse poor behavior. We cannot
be responsible for other people’s behavior, but we can control our own.
Accordingly, if we notice that someone seems to be unable to make an
impersonal decision that is isolated from human perspective, we should say
to ourselves, “Ah ha, here is a Feeler. This person does not use Thinking
well, and that is why they’re behaving this way.” Yet when we as Feelers
are presented with a situation that requires an impersonal approach, we
should NOT say to ourselves “I am a Feeler, and can’t be expected to
make decisions based purely on impersonal facts and logic.” This kind of
rationalization for behavior is certainly an easy way out of a situation,
but it enforces the weakness, making it weaker and weaker still.
Most of the weaknesses associated with any given personality type are
a result of that type’s dominant function overtaking the personality
to the extent that the other functions become slaves to the dominant
function. Although it is natural for every personality to be ruled by
its dominant function, it becomes a problem when the supporting functions
are not allowed to develop fully on their own because they are too busy
“serving the master”. In such cases, a personality can become quite
A situation in which the dominant function of a personality completely
overshadows the other personality functions is analogous to a kingdom
that is ruled by an overbearing king who requires absolute servitude.
Imagine such a king sitting down to dinner in his castle. He
keeps all of his servants running about to bring him dinner, and requires
that they serve him fully (disregarding their own needs) until he is
completed sated. His Foreign Minister, who is expected at an important
affair at a neighboring kingdom, finds himself pouring ale. His Minister
of Domestic Affairs, rather than addressing the issue of a failing economy,
slices roast turkey. His staff grabs food for themselves here and
there, but never get what they really need or want, and are consequently
unsatisfied, malnourished, and underdeveloped. The issues that the staff
should be taking care of are left undone, because they never finish their
primary task of serving the king. The king’s immediate needs are being met,
and so he is tolerably happy, but he is an ineffective king. As far as he
knows, everything and everybody exists simply to serve him. He has no
concept of Success beyond his daily needs. Since he cannot see beyond
his own needs, the entire kingdom suffers.
Likewise, a personality that has developed with a goal of serving the dominant
function above all other considerations often results in a person who is
imbalanced. In severe cases, the weaknesses associated with the given type
are often quite apparent to others, and overshadow the individual’s natural
strengths. Such a drastic imbalance is not common, and may be the result
of continuous and extreme stress. Most people will experience times in their
lives during which they are stressed to the point of serious imbalance.
People who experience this constantly have issues that need to be dealt
with, and should seek help.
Much more commonly, we see individuals who exhibit both the strengths and
weaknesses of their type. It is natural and healthy that each personality
type is ruled by a dominant function, and that the other functions support
the ruling function. We don’t seek to change anyone’s natural self, or
to achieve a perfect balance amongst a personality’s functions. By
definition, a kingdom needs a king in order to exist, and a personality needs
a dominant function. However, a kingdom with a well-developed and effective
king (the dominant function), who has well-trained and educated advisors (the
supporting functions), will thrive more than the kingdom ruled by a neglectful
king who is supported by inexperienced advisors.
As we can see, Balance and Success are relative terms.
They have different meaning for each of the sixteen personality types.
One statement using these terms is true for all types: Balance is the
key to Success.
So how do we go about realizing what’s truly important to us? How
do we recognize our weaknesses, and learn not to hide behind them?
How do we become balanced? How do we open that magical door that
will show us the way to personal growth and success?
There is no quickie scheme that will make you a successful person.
Psychological Type is a powerful aid in our quest for excellence,
but it is not the actual solution. It is a model that will help
you to expand your understanding of human nature.
An improved understanding of yourself and others will help you to
find, follow or expand your path. An awareness and acceptance of
the fact that one personality function may be more effective than
another function in a given situation will help you to understand
the relevance of personal growth to your life.
Carl Jung identified a process of personal growth that he called
individuation, which is essentially the conscious
realization of your true self, beyond the Ego
that is presented by your conscious self. Our efforts to help
people develop themselves is essentially the effort to help them
to realize that their personal perspectives and conscious ideas
are only a small part of who they are, and that the more they try
to develop and defend this superficial “self”, the further they
get away from their true Self.
This realization helps a psyche in many concrete ways, and is
also a positive step towards promoting a psyche that is open
to the process of individuation. For the purposes of making this
realization accessible to the general public, our writings are
mostly void of complex theoretical discussion.
To learn more about personal growth for your specific personality type, click
on the appropriate link below.
The Duty Fulfillers
Check us out on Facebook
Copyright 1998-2015 BSM Consulting, Inc.